Glen: 30th September – Hanoi – Vietnam
I went to the barbers today for the first time in twelve weeks! You may recall that the last time I went to have my hair cut there was a slight misunderstanding between me and my Egyptian barber. I indicated with my thumb and forefinger that I just wanted “this” much off and he thought I wanted just “this” much left on! So I walked out and back to see Mandy with the shortest hair cut I’ve ever had! Mandy was ecstatic with joy when she saw me! and said I was never to cut it again! She refused to show anyone a photo back home at the time. You can see why….
So for the last twelve weeks I haven’t had my hair cut and for the last six I haven’t shaved either. But I was starting to look like a tramp, like someone who didn’t have a job or a home to go to and had been wandering the streets for months. Hang on, that is me!
This is the before shot
I decided it was time to smarten up, a visit to another barber in a different country with a new language barrier to overcome, what could possibly go wrong? Well Mandy wasn’t so confident and so this time she came with me!
We searched for a barber, ignoring the first three street barbers we came across. These barbers may have been skilled but I didn’t fancy sitting in a chair in the middle of the pavement looking into a mirror which had been nailed to a tree or attached to some railings whilst having my hair cut!
Eventually I came across one with four walls, a roof and electricity and thought this is the one for me. Now bearing in mind my previous experience, when I sat down I very carefully demonstrated in my best ‘charades speak’ that I only wanted a small amount off and after some re-confirming of my request he set about cutting my hair.
Well to cut a long story, or Indeed hair, short it all went well. The young Edward Scissor Hands, using just a pair of scissors and a comb (no number four clippers for him) gradually revealed a well groomed head of hair from underneath the previous mop. He even tidied up my beard at my request.
Anyway, so far so good. He then went on to play ‘charades speak’ to me and made strange twissle movements with his fingers, I thought he was asking if I wanted gel in my hair so I said yes. He then beckoned me to stand up and follow him, well this tube of gel must be so large and heavy, I thought, that we have to walk to it rather than it come to us. But no, I was to have my hair washed. Unlike in the UK where they wash your hair and then cut it, here it seems they cut it first and then wash it. Much the more logical way round to me, all that cut hair can now be washed away.
He led me to a horizontal bench with a basin and tap at one end and asked me to lie down. For a moment I thought I had done something wrong and I was about to experience the dreaded water-boarding treatment dished out illegally by some governments around the world! Fear not, it was just a much more relaxing way to have your hair washed. Now, I can fall asleep anywhere with little encouragement so this was sure to have me dreaming in no time.
He set about shampooing my hair much as you would expect plus some very good head massage techniques. But then he started to wash my ears too. First just the outside edges but then deeper! It felt weird, it felt like an alien ear probe (not that I’ve ever had one of those, well not that I can remember!) it felt wrong, mildly abusive in fact. I’m not sure he should have been sticking his fingers further into my ears than I would! It reminded me of that sketch on ‘Friends’ TV show where Joey tells everyone how his tailor, when measuring up for some trousers, moves his ‘manhood’ from one side to the other and Joey asks the others “that’s normal right?” and Ross says “yes…….in prison!”
Anyway it felt weird, was he trying to remove all of my ear wax while washing my hair? Was this the ear equivalent of colonic irrigation?
Needless to say I didn’t fall asleep!
After a quick blow dry (yes I did say DRY, it wasn’t that good a service!) he’d finished and all that for just a mere £4.40
I stepped out of the barber’s shop and was pleased with the result, but more importantly so was Mandy!
Now for the after shot…. a little tidier I think.
